Rejoice, fans of the Merc with a Mouth: the trailer for Deadpool is here. With super hero films becoming as common and predictable as the house fly swarming the steaming pile that is modern Hollywood, this adaptation of the Regenerating Degenerate seems like a breath of fresh air. Let’s take a moment to gaze upon the majesty…

It hits all the right notes, correct? Sex! Violence! Bawdy comedy! A surprisingly well-thought hip hop soundtrack! Marvel Studios wouldn’t have the testicular fortitude to do something like this.

But.

Of course it looks amazing: a trailer is meant to sell things to us. After all it’s nothing we haven’t seen before, either from Ryan Reynolds or the studio. The main set piece is just a high resolution version of the stuff that was “leaked” six months ago, with a dusting of Easter Eggs and stuff that screamed “YES, WE GOT THE R RATING”. I don’t care how cool Negasonic Teenage Warhead’s name is – once the hype is gone, you’re left feeling empty.

Which brings me to the star. No matter how much he may believe he was born to play this part, he doesn’t play Deadpool; he plays Ryan Reynolds in a Deadpool suit. Allied with his stellar grounding in the genre (IN BRIGHTEST DAY AND BLACKEST NIGHT), one of his lines in the snippet may prove prophetic; we may be left with the cinematic equivalent of Mr Reynolds masturbating into a red and black sock.

The final, and possibly the most compelling reason to beat down your hype are these four.

fantastic-four

All the reboot of Fantastic Four has mustered is a 10% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, suggesting the 90s cartoon is better. Despite the discrepancy in budget between the two projects, that suggests a massive problem with quality control at Fox.

All in all, Mr Reynolds and his team have to put in work to convince me this won’t be Wolverine: Origins with fart jokes.

That said, I’ve written 300+ words about it. They might have me already.

Share on FacebookShare on Google+Tweet about this on TwitterEmail this to someone

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.